I am back to joy.
Well, I’m not back to joy, but I’m back to thinking about having
joy. I know I have addressed the
difference between happiness and joy, but I have still not been able to let go
of the idea that I am missing out on an epiphany. Today it finally happened. What I have discovered about epiphanies is
that they come in different sizes. Today’s
epiphany was not a large one, but I think the ripples it will create in my life
could end up being quite large.
My family is in transition again. Some of us are on the precipice of career
changes, some of us are moving, but all of us are waiting for the gate to open
to let us into the new pasture. For me,
the current placement of my body, mind, and soul is uncomfortable. I am uncertain about so much, and as I look
around at the state of some of the lives of my friends and what they are
dealing with. I find I am tempted to be
fearful for what lies ahead for me and mine.
I know full well, just based on my own fractious past, that
life is not easy. It just isn’t. So when I think of the great apostle Paul and
his confession that he has learned to be content and joyful in all things, I am
a combination of skeptical and irritated.
Paul spent much of his life being beaten and in prison, and yet he claimed
to be content in all things.
Really? I can discount his claim
and cite it as a negligent translation, or I can look at what he may have
meant. Until this morning I have not
been able to do the latter.
A phrase came to mind from a Stephen Curtis Chapman song, “...walk
calmly with our God”. It began to play
on the record player of my mind until I realized that life is a series of
events, and my ability to walk calmly through each is directly dependent on my
dependence on Abba. And for me, walking
calmly is the impetus of joy through all of life’s successes and
tragedies.
Imagine you are sitting in a chair and there are images
floating by in full color. You see your
fifth birthday, your first kiss, the death of a friend, your marriage, the
birth of a child, the loss of a child, finding out you have cancer, laughing
with your best friend, a divorce, more death, and so on...
These pictures are the moments of your life. They ebb and flow. They are not all from Abba. Some of them are meant to break. Some are meant to make, but what I realized
today, is that I cannot stop or instigate the moments of my life. I cannot take them and separate the good from
the bad then put them in any kind of order other than how they have occurred. I cannot give them to someone else, and I cannot
duplicate them. What I understand now is
that no matter what happens in my life.
No matter what pictures play on my life screen, I have the promise that
I can walk calmly through each.
I have decided Paul was not talking about joy and
contentment in the sense we generally consider the two terms. He meant that he is able to walk calmly with
Abba, and that calm in the eye of life’s storms produces joy; is the essence of
joy. It is freedom in the midst of
crashing containment. The peace that
comes from calm sojourn when everything seems to indicate a need for panic and
frantic abandon is nothing short of joy for me...Maybe even bliss. Why?
Because there is nothing more valuable to me in the midst of the roller
coaster ride than to know I am safe, comforted, and I can relax and embrace the
calm that comes from knowing Abba is walking right beside me.
Happy 4th!
L
