Making mental healthy...4

So in moving forward with the mentally healthy thing...Number four.

Boundaries! Learning to set boundaries is healthy for you and for those in your life. It is important to take stock of people in your life and determine whether they are healthy for you or not.

This is one of the more difficult things to do in the process of becoming mentally healthy. I learned the hard way when I was in a co-dependant (I was dependant on the abuser) relationship for several years. Becoming mentally ill was probably the one thing that saved me, for my focus shifted to survival and that allowed a breaking of the ties that bound me so abnormally.

If you are a person like me who tends to take care of others, applaud that beautiful thing in yourself, then step back, and take stock of what kind of shape you are in. If you resemble a beat up Pinto due to what you have allowed others to take from you in the name of "saving" them, it's time to assess. When you are setting boundaries you may help others and still resemble a sleek sports car or at least a nice little compact, maintaining what is best and flourishing within you.

We are not saviors to each other...should never be saviors. There are many things to be to others but a savior is not one of those things. Such a role inflates us, devalues the individual, and ultimately, ironically, can destroy us because we begin to believe we are nothing if not saving someone else. Such a strain causes ego inflation, disillusionment, depression, and sometimes even a spiral into the very place we are trying to pull someone else out of.

You've heard the analogy that roofers who are amazing at their jobs have leaky roofs of their own? Such a concept has brevity in the relational realm. We may become so busy fixing others we let ourselves fall apart. It can happen. It certainly did with me, and I continue to hold myself accountable when I am trying to jump into someone else's life as their super hero.

So, number four...set boundaries and don't volunteer to be someone else's super hero.

L

Books for reading on the topic: Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend